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Why You Should Marry An Engineer

DOCTORS

Supposedly, all women are after a Doctor, so don't expect your relationship to last more than five years.  Eventually, he'll run off with some nurse from his office, or one of his young women patients who is pretending to be sick.  He'll wait until you are stuck with a few kids to do this.  This is not a problem with your Engineer husband.  He had a hard enough time meeting you.  It is unlikely he'll ever meet another woman in his profession.

LAWYER

Do you seriously expect to have an honest, trusting relationship with someone who gets paid for lying?  Once again, this is not a problem with your Engineer spouse.  He doesn't have enough social skills to lie convincingly.  An additional drawback to marrying a lawyer is that when the divorce happens you will get nothing.

SALESMAN

See honesty segment under Lawyer.  Plus, he will be traveling to trade shows, etc. where he will be in the company of other equally untrustworthy individuals.  Don't be surprised when you get the invitation to show up on the Ricki Lake show.  The company that
your Engineer husband works at will keep him in a cage, often called a cubicle, until he is ready to go home to you.

HAZARDOUS PROFESSIONS, I.E.  POLICE OFFICER, FIREFIGHTER, CONSTRUCTION WORKER, ETC.

Your husband, if he is not killed in a serious accident, will likely be crippled with a back injury, etc. at around the time you are reaching your sexual peak.  The only hazard that your Engineer husband faces is losing his eyesight from staring into a monitor for too long. This actually has some benefits.  For one, he will never notice that you are getting older since you will be a blur; he will remember you as when he first met you because the memory will still be sharp. And when you ask, "Honey, were you looking at her?" he'll honestly be able to say that he didn't even see her.

TEACHER

The only reason he entered this profession is so that he could be surrounded by newly post-pubescent girls who idolize him.  He'll be in jail soon, and then you'll have to look for another man.



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