15.Has begun chasing oncoming cars.

14.Your fish purchases a rope and a helium balloon.

13.Fluffy stops leaving dead mice on doormat, starts leaving Marilyn Manson

CD's.

12.Refuses to eat Friskies, now eats only Gloomies.

11.Keeps trying to throw himself under that Chuck Wagon.

10.Your pit bull can only muster up the energy to maim, not to kill.

9."Yo quiero Prozac."

8.You catch him with his head in the toilet bowl -- and he's a goldfish.

7.Eats Ben and Jerry's "Toilet Water Crunch" like it's going out of style.

6.Rover used to be so energetic, but now he just stands there and lets the

Frisbee bounce off the side of his head.

5.Keeps running at the electric fence with the sprinkler in his mouth.

4.Obligingly thrusts at your leg for a few seconds and then wanders off to watch

TV.

3.Your dog won't eat his food -- not even Purina's new Anus 'n' Scrotum flavor.

2.He lies on his back in the gerbil wheel for hours at a time, smoking cigarettes

and staring at the top of his cage.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Pet is Depressed...

1.Three words: "Ruck Roo, Reorge."

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