* Pick The Right Bank:

You don't want to make the same mistake as the fellow in

Anaheim, CA, who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in

business and had no money.

* Study Your History:

Don't try to stick up the First National Bank of Northfield,

Minnesota. Jesse James tried it 111 years ago, and the

townsfolk took just seven minutes to kill two and capture

three of his gang. Nobody tried again until 1984, and the

customers chased the guy down. They're tight with their

dollar, those Minnesotans.

* Speak To The Right Teller:

One robber in Upland, CA, presented his note to the teller,

and her father, who was in the next line, got all bent out of

shape about it. He wrestled the guy to the ground and sat on

him until authorities arrived.

* Don't Sign Your Demand Note:

Demand notes have been written on the back of a subpoena

issued in the name of a bank robber in Pittsburgh... on an

envelope bearing the name and address of another in Detroit...

...and in East Hartford, Connecticut, on the back of a

withdrawal slip giving the robber's signature and account

number.

* Don't Advertise:

A teenage girl in Los Angeles tried to distract attention from

her face by wearing a see-through blouse with no bra while

holding up banks.

* Go Easy On The Disguise:

One robber, dressed up as a woman with very heavy make-up, ran

face first into a glass door. He was the first criminal ever

to be positively identified by lip-print.

* Take Right Turns Only:

Avoid the sad fate of the thieves in Florida who took a wrong

turn into the Homestead Air Force Base, drove up to a military

police guardhouse and, thinking it was a tollbooth, offered

the security police money.

* Be Aware Of The Time:

Imagine the chagrin of the bank robber in Cheshire,

Massachusetts, who hit the bank at 4:30 PM, then tried to

escape through downtown North Adams, where he was trapped in

rush hour traffic until police arrived.

* Consider Another Line Of Work:

Bank robbery is not for everyone. One nervous Newport, RI

robber, while trying to stuff his ill-gotten gains into his

shirt pocket, shot himself in the head and died instantly.

* Be Strong:

Then there was the case of the hopeful criminal in Swansea,

Massachusetts, who, when the teller told him she had no money,

fainted. He was still unconscious when the police arrived. His

getaway car was parked nearby and had the keys locked inside.

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