*Stand on top of the high board and say you

won't come down until your demands are met.

*Tell the lifeguards that they aren't doing their

jobs because you have seen at least 15 people

drown today.

*Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.

*Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys.

*Take a flutter board and pretend you can't

swim.

*Hit strangers with your flutter board.

*Ask an attractive lifeguard to practise CPR

on you.

*Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning

sounds and say, "Oh yeah... oooh that feels

soooo good...."

*Sit on the top of the water slide and don't

move.

*Swim near a stranger and go "Dammit I knew

I shouldn't have had watermelon before I came

here."

*Insist that you saw a monster at the bottom of

the pool.

*Pretend to drown and then when someone

tries to help you, say "HA-HA, fooled you!"

*Scream as someone is trying to do something

when jumping off of a diving board.

*Laugh at fat people in swimsuits.

*Tell people you saw the lifeguard pissing in

the pool.

*Ask a lifeguard if skinny-dipping is allowed.

*Try to negotiate the price of getting in.

*Take a really long time when you are on top

of the high dive and then act as though you

were pushed off.

*When in line, ask strangers if they think

invisble people get a discount.

*Take your towel, tie it around your shoulders

and say "Wheee! I'm Batman!" while running

around.

*Hit strangers with your wet towel.

*Throw people's things into the pool.

*Sing and dance on top of the dinving board,

then do a belly-flop as your grande-finale.

*Play Marco-Polo by yourself.

*Ask small children if they have seen any

suspicious-looking sea monsters lately.

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