1. You wake up face down on the pavement.

2. You put your bra on backwards and it fits

better.

3. You call Suicide Prevention and they put

you on hold.

4. You see a "60 minutes" news team waiting in

your office.

5. Your birthday cake collapses from the

weight of the candles.

6. You want to put on the clothes you wore

home from the party and there aren't any.

7. You turn on the news and they're showing

emergency routes out of the city.

8. Your twin sister forgot your birthday.

9. You wake up and discover your waterbed

broke and then realize that you don't have a

waterbed.

10. Your car horn goes off accidentally and

remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's

Angels on the freeway.

11. Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and

you have a headache.

12. Your boss tells you not to bother to take

off your coat.

13. The bird singing outside your window is a

buzzard.

14. You wake up and your braces are locked

together.

15. You walk to work and find your dress is

stuck in the back of your pantyhose.

16. You call your answering service and they

tell you it's none of your business.

17. Your blind date turns out to be your ex.

18. Your income check bounces.

19. You put both contact lenses in the same

eye.

20. Your pet rock snaps at you.

21. Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill" and

your name is George.

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